“He had mixed feelings about
dying, of course. He wanted to know where he was going and what the
accommodations would be like. To play it safe, he wanted to order room service
early in case he arrived hungry. He was hoping for deli food, and by that, he
meant real deli food, the kind he grew up eating in New York. And a nice bowl
of chicken soup couldn't hurt.”
While working for a large independent film company, I had
the pleasure of meeting a number of above-the-line talent, famous and infamous.
And for some odd reason, they liked to
come by my office to pick up their check. Go figure.
Once, a writer who I had never met, out-of-the-blue invited
me to lunch at a deli in Beverly Hills. Why
anyone would want to have lunch with me is a mystery, but I reluctantly agreed. Truth be told, I have a problem sitting next
to a complete stranger, a successful writer at that, whose prosaic waste is
gratified with an enormous paycheck.
Naytheless, before I went to lunch, I thought I’d better
read his script.
Reading his script was a monstrous
effort. I started losing interest somewhere,
about, well, if I remember correctly, page two, and by the 109th
page, I noticed my nails had started to grow long and twist. The tasty tidbits
in this screenplay were as rare as malodorous white truffles.
And speaking of smells, I got wind, from the story department
that the project was in turnaround. They weren’t going any further, and the possibility
of a production date, pre or otherwise, were now a figment of someone’s
overzealous imagination. So it was just
lunch, no commitments, but as I walked into the deli, having that information,
I felt uncomfortable.
The writer and I exchanged pleasantries and then he asked me
about the script. I said I enjoyed the
read, looking at my newly clipped fingernails, and pointed out some of the good
things in his screenplay.
“So they’re going ahead with this?”
At this point, I’m having a hard time holding on to my
truthful self.
“Why is it so hot in here?” I asked.
These are uncomfortable moments because truth is a precious
commodity in this business, and something I value, but not something people
want. It’s the flattery that drives the
dreams that feeds the wants; I want it, you want it, he, she, it wants it – and
isn’t that just grand.
One thing about Los Angeles delis: they give you lots of food. There’s so much food you are obligated to
feed yourself so as not to utter one morsel of truth before you suddenly find it’s
time to end the meeting.
L.A Deli by Sam
Bobrick and directed by Walter Painter is now playing at the Marilyn Monroe
Theatre through April 27, 2014 in West Hollywood.
Let’s not mince words.
Sam Bobrick’s new comedy is
solid, lively, fast paced, and filled with so much truth it hurts. Anyone who
has worked in the industry, lived and breathed the industry, or even knows
someone who knows someone that enjoys the heartwarming stories of despicable
characters will love this show. This is a comedy with a lot of heart, about
people who have no heart. And, isn’t
that what comedy is all about?
L.A. Deli is a series of twelve sketches set in deli in Los
Angeles. Jeffery P. Eisenmann, Set
Designer, has given us a set so wonderfully imagined and executed I worried it might
overpower the acting on stage.
Nope. Walter Painter, the director, keeps
things lively on stage. Painter works
with six actors that are playing twenty-eight different characters. Quickly they move in and out changing
personas and or slightly changing their costumes to change characters. Painter does yeoman’s work, keeping it all
together, and magnificently moves the show from one sketch to another. How are they going to do the deli foodstuff, with
all that food? Painter makes it an obstacle easily overcome.
The twelve sketches are tied together by the one person
working in the deli, Kathleen (Gail Matthius), who puts up with the going on of
all who enter and leave. But there’s something she might want to add to tie those
scenes together.
I’ll get to that later.
“The Pitch”
One can look at The Pitch a couple of different ways. David
(Scott Kruse), a writer, is pitching his idea to J.B. (Phil Proctor), a movie
studio boss, without the Louis B humph. David thinks he’s got a great script
and, as he is pitching, J.B. proceeds to change everything. And by the time the pitch is over, each
person is telling his own story. Typically, writers say too much without
getting to the substantial meat. What’s interesting about “The Pitch” is David,
the writer, is saying nothing that we haven’t seen or heard a thousand times. J.B.
has every right to throw out his ideas.
After all, despite the non-existent humph, he is the movie studio boss. Also,
this is a very clever piece written by Bobrick who has the actors telling
different stories at the same time and also having those same characters,
playing out the roles, and living in different worlds.
“The Actor & The
Agent”
Agent Ted (Jeffrey Landman), a man who will not bullsh*t
anyone, is out to get a young, up and coming, slightly goofy talent, Jimmy
(Scott Kruse). Ted takes him under his
wing and treats him like family because “I got to follow my heart.” But as soon
as Jimmy excuses to himself to go to the bathroom, Ted calls his boss and tells
him that he signed the talent hocking the old “ I’m your family” spiel. Another agent, Stu (Phil Proctor), in the
deli listening, moves in and tells Ted that Jimmy’s last three films stink,
stank, stunk. Then things suddenly change
in their “family” relationship.
“The Big Lie”
The Big Lie is a sketch about Babette (Darrin Revitz) and
Harry (Phil Proctor), a happily married couple.
Opps, I forgot, only one is happily married, Babette wants a divorce
because Harry lied to her and that lie has destroyed their marriage. All before the Matzo ball soup arrives.
“The Funeral”
The Funeral finds two studio people coming together to speak
about their boss who has recently been laid to rest. Brian (Jeffrey Landman)
and Marty (Scott Kruse) question why his earthly demise was so sudden. “There was three minutes of applause lowering
him into the ground.” You can take that
either way.
“The Agent’s Wife”
Ginger (Darrin Revitz), the agents wife, and Paul (Scott
Kruse), the writer, get together at the deli to toss around ideas for Ginger’s
inane screenplay “Jane and the Beanstalk” starring Sandra Bullock or Oprah
Winfrey. Ginger has access to
Sandra. Well, they don’t actually know
each other, but they go to the same place to get their teeth done. And it’s not
beneath Ginger to cram the screenplay into Sandra’s bag. For Paul it is a meeting in hell.
“The Contract”
The Contract is an interesting sketch about Lewis (Phil
Proctor) who wants to get “rid” of his wife of thirty years and finds just the
right person to do it, hitman Edward (Jeffrey Landman). Love makes strange bedfellows of assassins. Lewis explains he wants to marry his
assistant, and over a tuna on rye and a cup of coffee they discuss the intricacies
of the operation until something changes. Unfortunately, someone got to Edward
first.
“Forever Young”
Forever Young was probably the funniest scene of the night. It is the story of a once successful and very
youthful looking actress, Debbie (Rachel Boller). Oddly enough Debbie has a thoughtful and
caring agent Michael (Jeffrey Landman). (Okay, now we’re testing
credulity.) Michael honestly tells her
that she has got to stop with the plastic surgeries or they will kill her. Her skin is pulled too tight, and her organs
are not where they are supposed to be. That Debbie is not young is evident when
her adult grandson Josh (Scott Kruse) greets her. And last but not least, coming out of the
bathroom is her co-star from her Lassie days, Peter (Phil Proctor). This was by
far the funniest scene of the night and the timing was impeccable.
“The X’s”
Tina (Rachel Boller) and Diane (Darrin Revitz) get together
to talk about there ex-husbands and compare notes. Unfortunately there’s been so many, some with
the same names, they get all confused.
“The Team”
Arnie (Scott Kruse) and Jerry (Jeffrey Landman) are a
writing team. Arnie is the hard worker
while Jerry is the slacker and Arnie has had it. Arnie says it’s the end and this
forces Jerry to get down on his hand and knees to get him to take him back. But,
there’s a lesson to be learned here before you tell your partner off, before
you get things off your chest. It’s
better to keep things close to home when you’re dealing with Hollywood people.
“The Firing”
The firing is a nice sketch about an older movie boss, Tom
(Phil Proctor) on his way out and being fired by his successor Nancy (Rachel
Boller). It’s not a pretty picture of
age losing out to economics with a very funny twist at the end.
“After the Screening”
Sid (Jeffrey Landman) and Al (Scott Kruse) decide what they
are going to do after their movie get low marks during a screening. The cards
do show a hopeful sign “Worst movie ever!!!” That fact that someone wrote that
means he cares.
“The Waitress”
The Waitress was another one of my favorites. It gives Kathleen (Gail Matthius), the
waitress, a chance to shine. After working a long day in the deli, she falls
asleep at a table when a man, Bob (Phil Proctor), who hasn’t seen her in many
years, wakes her. He’s in town from back
east, has found out where she works, and wants to see her. Bob is her former
husband, who she left without so much as a goodbye to him and their two beautiful
kids in search of pursuing a dream in Hollywood. When she left, she was young
and beautiful, enjoyed the promise of success before everything stopped, and
now she finds herself years later, alone, slinging corned beef and blintzes to
obnoxious deli patrons.
There is a lot of sincerity in the work from Gail Matthius. Kathleen is a character with a lot of heart
and her reality is there’s no future for her in the entertainment
business. Still she performs her job
with grand dignity. At this point in her
life the character Kathleen must be looking for her husband or her kids to come
through the deli door to see her and she must regard each patron as that life
to tie the twelve sketches together. But all in all, this is very good work.
Rachel Boller as
Debbie in “Forever Young” does an incredible job keeping everything up and
tight. It’s a very funny scene but one in which Debbie should still be strongly
vying for the ingénue roles. Boller’s role in “The Firing” is right on cue and
shows us her ability to completely change characters. Very nice work.
Scott Kruse does
some very amusing work in seven different roles. Each character is slightly different than the
other. The character Jimmy in “The Actors
& The Agent” was one of my favorites as an insecure, green, and orphaned actor
trying to find his way in the Hollywood jungle. His attenuated body sipping on a soft drink
and soaking in the flattery is like watching the lamb before the slaughter. Kruse’s character work was exquisite.
Jeffrey Landman also
has some marvelous moments in six different roles. The characters didn’t appear
to be all that different from each other but physically he fits all the roles. Landman has a strong voice and adding another
layer to his characters wouldn’t hurt. For example, the Ted character in “The
Actor and & The Agent”, we need to see where his being duped is coming from,
when, in his ghastly amiability; he is in actually conning the actor. Also, as
Brian, in “The Funeral”, needs more of an emotional stake. Edward, in “The
Contract”, should give his condolences to his counterpart before departing. Little quibbles for work that is very fine.
Phil Proctor is a
workhorse of an actor and does an incredible job in the seven characters he
portrays on stage. His work in “The Contract” and “Forever Young” is very
satisfying, funny, and extremely enjoyable.
Darrin Revitz
plays three roles and does some really good character work. Babette in “The Big Lie” is a fine role but
you have to wonder how smart the character is when she doesn’t know the age of
her husband. Ginger is another ditsy
character in “The Agents Wife” that doesn’t really have a strong objective. And
Diane in “The Xs” gives us another glimpse into the life of the absurd. Finding the strength of these characters and
their objective would only add to some very fine work.
Susan Huckle, Perry Lambert, Lyndsi Larose, David
McCharen, and Matthew Wrather are
alternates that I did not see perform on this night but will be performing on
Friday April 11th at 8:00pm and Saturday April 12th at
3:00pm.
The reality of going into a deli in Los Angeles is that you cannot
go into one without seeing someone of color, behind the counter, on the floor, sweeping,
mopping, serving, etc. Not one person of color in this cast or alternates by
Casting Director Michael Donovan. It is slightly discouraging to see this in
this day and age. But despite the barren aridity of color and my delicate
raillery, it is still a remarkable cast giving their all.
Racquel Lehrman,
Theatre Planners is the Producer and has done a fantastic job. Victoria Watson, Theatre Planners is
the Associate Producer.
Michael Gend
lends his voice as the Lighting Designer.
Michael Mullen is
the Costume Designer.
Chris Moscatiello
is responsible for the Sound Design.
Ken Werther Publicity
was responsible for the Public Relations.
Natalya Zernitskaya
is the Assistant Stage Manager and Liana
Dillaway is the Production Stage Manager.
Richie Ferris was the Casting Assistant.
Kiff Scholl did the wonderful Graphic Design.
Lawrence Grossman was the Music Supervisor.
Richie Ferris was the Casting Assistant.
Kiff Scholl did the wonderful Graphic Design.
Lawrence Grossman was the Music Supervisor.
Run! Run! And while
you’re at it take someone who flatters you whether they mean it or not. And then hop on over to Canter’s Deli and try
their hot potato knish.
For tickets: www.plays411.com/ladeli
323-960-7738
For tickets: www.plays411.com/ladeli
323-960-7738
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